Is there any way of writing an index page without sounding like a complete idiot? I think to myself, 'just write whatever comes into your head,' and then I read it back and think, 'I'm a moron.' 

It's a bit like when you're trying to write a CV, or the 'personal statement'/cover letter bit that goes with it. You either sound like an arrogant bigwit, or unfortunately short in the brain cells department. It's a bit sad that you can apparently summarise your entire life for someone else to peruse and reject at will, on just a couple of pieces of paper, ne?